Any of this sound familiar? I’ll never be able to achieve [insert your goal]. What’s wrong with me? I work so hard, yet I’m not as successful as [insert the person you compare yourself with] There must be something wrong with me. I hate myself. I hate my life. Those stories are filled […]
Will you rescue me?
I want someone to feel sorry for me. So someone will rescue me. I want the white knight to come and fix my problem. So I don’t have to be vulnerable (uncertainty, emotional exposure + risk). I want the imaginary white knight because then I can bet on “him” instead of me. So I don’t […]
I Love Money
I used to hate money. I used to be afraid of money. I believed that money did not come to people like me – the loser from loser street. Here’s the thing, money is neutral. Money doesn’t cause pain or suffering. In fact, money doesn’t cause happiness either. It’s the commonly accepted stories about money […]
People pleasing sounds like a good thing …
A number of years ago, a thoughtful, long-time listener sent me an email. She asked me to consider to stop using the term “approval whore.” She believed it was demeaning. Over the next few months, I percolated on her email. While I understood her point of view, I also came to realize exactly why […]
Letting go of judgement
Does the judgement of other people stop you in your tracks? Are you afraid of being judged, and “stay small” in your life? Here’s the thing … no matter what, people will judge you. In fact, it’s not really other people’s judgement we are afraid of. It’s that their judgement could be true. Instead […]
Parenting is one of the bravest things we do
Parenting is one of the bravest things we do. It’s hard. We are vulnerable and no matter how hard we try to protect ourselves, we are guaranteed to face uncertainty, emotional exposure and risk. While I was “sure” at 20 that I would never expose myself to the vulnerability of raising kids, life had other […]
She needs you
Let’s say you have a friend who’s fierce. She is strong and capable. Do you ever reach out to her to see how she’s really doing? Might be a tough thing to do. Since she’s strong and capable, she may not be used to letting you in. But here’s the thing, we all need to […]
No one is allowed to drown
My clients often put up a lot of resistance to committing to their best case scenario. They tend to throw a lot of “but …” sentences out there, reasons why they can’t possibly commit. To help them overcome this resistance, I share ideas about committing to the best case scenario, while also managing risk. During […]
Overcoming Obstacles
A couple of obstacles parents have told me about recently … “My daughter didn’t want to put on her new suit for swim practice.” “My teen wasn’t happy about getting out of bed for the swim meet.” What causes people pain is the belief that obstacles shouldn’t be happening. While the parent of a teen […]
How to Become the Badass Version of Yourself
Being a more badass version of yourself isn’t about being cocky or arrogant. It’s about you being YOU. It’s about you returning to yourself. It’s taking off all the damn armour you’ve accumulated over the years. You know … Perfectionism Judgement Hiding Self-sabotage Being afraid to fully embrace joy in your life Sarcasm Approval whoring, […]
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