I help my clients stop pursuing living a perfect life and instead live the life they want on their terms. Here’s the problem… perfection is the birthplace of shame. You know that awful feeling inside that tells you: You are bad! You are not enough! There’s something wrong with you! You don’t belong here! […]
Why are you living in a swamp?
Do you overindulge in the drama of your life? When a friend calls, do you start the conversation with what’s not going well? Most people live in the swampland of shame, because they don’t know any better. Instead of focusing on where they want to go, they talk about how horrible it is to live […]
Your next shit storm is right around the corner. Are you prepared?
It’s a lie to believe you can somehow set up a life free of shit storms. The storm is coming … are you prepared? Shit storms are where growth occurs and transformation can happen. Your brain tells you to play it safe … “No shit storms allowed.” However, without them you’d stagnate, and you don’t […]
Parenting is one of the bravest things we do
Parenting is one of the bravest things we do. It’s hard. We are vulnerable and no matter how hard we try to protect ourselves, we are guaranteed to face uncertainty, emotional exposure and risk. While I was “sure” at 20 that I would never expose myself to the vulnerability of raising kids, life had other […]
Will you rescue me?
I want someone to feel sorry for me. So someone will rescue me. I want the white knight to come and fix my problem. So I don’t have to be vulnerable (uncertainty, emotional exposure + risk). I want the imaginary white knight because then I can bet on “him” instead of me. So I don’t […]
She needs you
Let’s say you have a friend who’s fierce. She is strong and capable. Do you ever reach out to her to see how she’s really doing? Might be a tough thing to do. Since she’s strong and capable, she may not be used to letting you in. But here’s the thing, we all need to […]
You aren’t responsible for your daughter’s feelings
I just got off the phone with a client. She was in so much pain. Her 18 year old daughter, a senior in high school, had told her, “You make me feel like I’m never enough!!!” This really works for her daughter, because my client then gets small in their relationship. My client doesn’t want […]
Get clear on what you want. Right now.
What do you want? One of the biggest problems that my new clients struggle with is that they have no idea what they want. Or they make the answer to that question above too vague. I want to make as much money as possible. I want to be living the dream. I want to […]
Does that belief belong to you?
I feel guilty. Why? Because I am a bad daughter. Why? Because I don’t play by my dad’s rules for our relationship. Is that your belief? That you must play by your dad’s rules to be a good daughter? It’s what I learned from my dad. Now that you are an adult woman, do you […]
Maybe this is as good as it gets?
Do you remember the 1997 movie As Good as It Gets? Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt playing people who were settling for a good-enough life. I hated that movie. Because it was my life and I didn’t want to accept it. Even back then, I knew I was climbing the wrong career ladder. I was […]
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