Seems like it was another lifetime ago. I was skeptical. I was judgmental. I was filled with self-loathing. I was exhausted … And I was hopeful for something better. It was 2001 + I happened upon Oprah interviewing Julia Roberts on her show. I hadn’t watched it since the late ‘80s, I wasn’t that kind […]
When your insides don’t match your outsides …
Does any of this sound familiar? You’ve achieved great success in your career … but you still second guess yourself. You’ve created a good professional life … but your personal life doesn’t match. You’re smart and have the degrees to prove it … but you still believe you are a fraud. On the outside you […]
How to create your best marriage
You think to create your best life, you must leave your marriage. My clients think the same thing. While I’m not a marriage counselor, I’ve helped heal a lot of painful marriages. You see, we are story making creatures. Our brains love stories. Our brains are fantastic at writing a drama. And if your brain […]
Do you believe in YOU?
Believing in YOU is vulnerable. There’s a ton of risk …. what will others think??? We’ve been programmed to not be “too much.” My friend … believing in yourself is not being too much. Think about all those little toddlers who believe in themselves. We adore them. They believe in their ability to crawl, to […]
We want the promise without the heartache
We’ve been culturally programmed to pursue the promise. If I do X, then Y will occur. EXAMPLE PROMISES If you are a good girl, you’ll have a good life. If you’re highly educated, you + your family will be safe. If you’re perfect, you’ll finally be good enough. If you’re good enough, you’ll find a […]
I’m rethinking my People magazine subscription
A while back I wrote about wanting to be a person who read The New Yorker…but that I really wanted to read People magazine. I gave myself permission to get a subscription to People magazine. It’s been a fascinating experiment. At first I was so excited when it came in the mail. But it quickly […]
How to become your own best friend
Many years ago I was doing a consult with a potential client. I asked her about the end result she wanted to achieve. She told me she wanted to be her own best friend. At first I thought that was a bit “fluffy.” Then I realized how wrong I was and how valuable it is […]
Who’s Controlling Whom?
My client was frustrated with her mother. As an adult daughter, my client viewed her mother as controlling. Sound familiar? Oh those mother-daughter relationships. When she views her mother as controlling, my client gets: Short with her mother. Gives herself permission to indulge in her self-destructive behaviors. Has a party in her mouth with food. […]
You did what you were told to do
You did what you were told to do! You worked hard. You did what others wanted you to do. You put others first. You cared about other people’s opinions over your own. You became highly educated to prove your worthiness. You over (and over and over) achieve at work in order to prove your worthiness. […]
How to become the next version of YOU
We are always a work in progress. One of the big lies we’ve been told is “one day – out there – we will arrive.” Then, when that someday arrives, we will finally be good enough and can rest. HA! You must practice becoming the next version of yourself and also rest. Hence, why you […]
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