You know that friend you’ve known for twenty years, the one you only see once every 1-3 years? You always think she’s going to tell you how fantastic her life is now, after all these years. But while time has passed by … she tells you the same sad story about her troubles. Now the […]
Approval whoring vs people pleasing
“Approval whoring” does not sound nice. Why not use “people pleasing” instead? People pleasing sounds nice. Women have been culturally programmed to be nice. Women have been culturally programmed to put other people’s needs before their own. Women have been culturally programmed that if we are nice and put people’s needs in front of our […]
Money is evil
Growing up, we didn’t have money, so one of the solutions to my problem was to believe money is evil. Villainize money to stop myself from wanting it. Funny thing is … that didn’t work. In fact, it only created more pain and suffering. I felt SHAME from not having enough money to begin with. […]
You know what to do, you’re just not doing it …
“What’s wrong with me?” “Why am I not doing what I should be doing?” Two reasons there’s a gap between what you know and what you do: The questions above lead to self-hatred … which is rooted in the feeling of SHAME. When rooted in SHAME, you either hide away or beat the crap out […]
Creating trust with new staff
You’ve learned … vulnerability is the pathway to connection. In fact, you’ve heard me say that 1,000 times on my podcast. So you decided to put it into practice at your next team retreat to cultivate connection with new staff. You are one of the Senior Staffers at the retreat. One night you get other […]
I want to know you
When I sit with you … I want to know: What you really believe. Your opinion, even if I totally disagree. What’s rattling inside of your brain. But you are worried about being disliked. You are concerned you will say something stupid. You don’t want to make me mad. (REMINDER: I am responsible for my […]
Stop waiting for permission
Isn’t it funny? You are a grown ass woman. You have major responsibilities. You are the one that gets things done for others. But you’re waiting for permission. From who? As the responsible, get-shit-done woman, it’s time to give yourself permission … and stop waiting for it to come from someone else. Stop giving your […]
Pick yourself
I used to believe others were the chosen ones, that I was the loser. If only I were good enough, they would choose me. This led me down the path of becoming an approval whore, waiting around for others to choose me. I know you are wondering how that worked out for me … It […]
When we compare, we despair
I’ve just returned from one of those life big moments. My husband was inducted in the American Swim Coaches Hall of Fame for his body of work over the past 34 years, developing 2 Olympians ,1 Paralympian, and thousands of others. Over the years I’ve been on “both sides of the curtain.” On the outside […]
Choose who you become
The conversations with clients + my AquaMonster parents, usually turn to their fears around raising their kids. They worry that they’re raising their kids “wrong” … they worry about messing up their kids … they worry about something bad happening to their child and that that something will define the rest of their child’s life. […]
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