You know that moment when you feel defeat as you compare yourself to others and come to the conclusion you don’t measure up. SCENARIO #1 You are upset with yourself because you aren’t successful enough. This is the start of your downward spiral. You start to tell yourself, “there’s something wrong with me.” You look […]
How to banish shame
Why do we care about other people’s judgement? Because it threatens our belonging … or so we believe. We are hardwired for connection. We want a place to belong. Judgement does NOT feel safe. Judgement is rooted in SHAME…you know that damn voice of “not enough.” Here’s the thing, other people’s judgement has nothing to […]
Your moment of truth
You think it’s your life situations that create your worthiness. The truth is your lack of worthiness doesn’t come from: Your job. Your horrible boss. Your marital status. How much money you don’t make. The number on the scale. Ready to know what creates your worthiness? The thoughts you believe over and over about yourself […]
Verbal Vomit … Yes, but …
10 years ago I came up with a concept for my clients and myself. Verbal Vomit. This was great for those who didn’t use their voice. The old me went years keeping my thoughts inside of me. In fact, I buried them so far down, I didn’t know what I thought. I didn’t know my […]
How to move through your feelings
There’s a stirring inside of you. You know it’s a painful feeling. You don’t want to feel it. You’ve tried to numb it, and have run out of tv shows to watch. You’ve tried to outrun it, but that’s hard to do when you’re sheltered at home. You’ve tried to busy yourself, but there’s only […]
Choose
One of my strengths is my ability to be courageous. I work on being courageous in my life, by writing you these emails, by owning my voice, by sharing what I believe with you, my friends and my family. Often times my own family can be the hardest place to show up and own my voice, […]
How to take action
Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful you listen to my podcast. Here’s the thing: are you a consumer of knowledge (PASSIVE ACTION) or someone who applies that knowledge (ACTIVE ACTION)? Passive action is listening to podcasts, reading, thinking, figuring out, planning, reading some more, listening some more, figuring out some more, with more planning … and […]
Judge Not
You’re in constant turmoil over what other people think about you, your choices + actions. You try to hide away so you aren’t seen + criticized. You don’t own your voice and speak your truth. You act the way you are supposed to act to gain other people’s approval. The problem … by worrying about what other […]
You know what to do, you’re just not doing it …
“What’s wrong with me?” “Why am I not doing what I should be doing?” Two reasons there’s a gap between what you know and what you do: The questions above lead to self-hatred … which is rooted in the feeling of SHAME. When rooted in SHAME, you either hide away or beat the crap out of yourself. This […]
Being comfortable with being uncomfortable
The path to growth is being comfortable with the uncomfortable. I can not change what I do not acknowledge. I am unpacking my own internal racial biases. I am listening. Desiree Adaway Ibram X. Kendi Rachel Cargie Austin Channing Brown Erika Hines I am continuing to learn. White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White […]
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