What is success? What do you know for sure? What are your values? What are your priorities? My friend … it’s your job to answer these questions. I realize this may be news to you. You’ve let others define it for you. Your parents. Your friends. Your mentors. Your school. No one gets to write […]
DON’T ANSWER TEXTS … IF YOU CAN’T ANSWER!
I was in the middle of a text conversation with someone I care about. There was some vulnerable sharing that was occuring in the texts. The problem I have with texting … I don’t have to be fully committed to the “conversation.” I can get distracted + stop texting. Thereby, ghosting the other person. This […]
Do something to make you – you
I didn’t swim to get inducted to the Hall of Fame I didn’t swim to swim in college. I didn’t swim for awards. I swam because I loved being in the pool. I swam because it was fun. I swam because it felt so good. I continued to swim, because I had a place to […]
I want them to know … no matter what … they belong
Growing up…I believed there was something wrong with me. I was different. I was tall….ALWAYS, even in Kindergarten. I was biracial. My mom is Korean but I don’t look Asian. I was poor. Well not me … but my family didn’t have much financially. Most of my life I felt like the black sheep. I […]
Perfectionism is sneaky…
I know better. I don’t even use the word PERFECT in my daily vocabulary. I notice it when other people use the word. I remember the impossible standards I created with that word. I let it go….. But perfectionism is sneaky. While I own my entire me. While I am my authentic + messy self. […]
You are not allowed to drown
During the summer I have a lot of new parents in the AquaMonsters (youth swim team I’m the director of) and their biggest concern is entrusting their child to my program. They are worried their child will drown in our program. Yes this is their fear talking. Yes it’s irrational. And yes it creates a […]
Stop looking for the home run
Many of my clients only want to go up to bat in their life if they are guaranteed a home run. Sound familiar? Instead of thinking you should hit a home run every time you step up to bat in your life. Remind yourself that a great baseball player hits 30% of the time. Of […]
It’s your job to believe in YOU
One thing about being an approval whore … you are seeking out someone else to do your job. You want others to believe in you. Because you believe … if they approve of you … they can see how capable you are and then believe in you. Then you don’t have to believe in you. […]
Stop beating the crap out of yourself
My friend, you’ve been lied to … “Want a better life?” “Beat the crap out of yourself and you’ll get there.” That might ignite some better behavior from you. But then two things happen: Once your adrenaline runs out, this new behavior doesn’t last. Because you learn “it doesn’t really work,” next time you don’t […]
How to be a good friend
It’s so fascinating. You know a lot of people. You have a lot of friends on FB. Yet … you still feel alone. You want a place to belong. You hunger for friendship. You tell yourself stories that these women you admire, they already have a lot of friends. You tell yourself, you won’t be […]
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