I want someone to feel sorry for me. So someone will rescue me. I want the white knight to come and fix my problem. So I don’t have to be vulnerable (uncertainty, emotional exposure + risk). I want the imaginary white knight because then I can bet on “him” instead of me. So I don’t […]
My clients often put up a lot of resistance to committing to their best case scenario. They tend to throw a lot of “but …” sentences out there, reasons why they can’t possibly commit. To help them overcome this resistance, I share ideas about committing to the best case scenario, while also managing risk. During […]
Shame is what threatens your place of love + belonging. When you struggle with shame — and we all do — you can: Try to outrun it. However, it is always there. Wherever you are, there it is, inside of you. Sell yourself out in order to please others in your life. While we think […]
When I was a junior in college, I secretly pursued a HUGE GOAL for myself. I wanted to be a National Champion in the 200 yard butterfly at the Division II NCAA’s. I told no one. Because I could not risk failure and losing “face” if it did not come true. But that’s another discussion. […]
A couple of years ago I found myself in a group email thread where a male swim coach was trying to stop me from using my voice. He did not like that I was asking hard questions, that I was willing to use my voice to speak to our governing body. Have you ever found […]
Stop waiting. This life is not a practice run. This is real. Don’t ask for permission. Instead, give yourself your own permission. Manage risk, then go after what you want. Here’s what this looks like … One of my clients wants a new career path. She’s a highly skilled and respected executive. She has a […]
You want connection. You want belonging. You want to be seen. Yet, the idea of having courageous conversations makes you want to go into hiding. I’m here to tell you … Courageous conversations are the key element to finding connection, belonging, + being seen. By having these conversations, you find out much quicker who your […]
I feel guilty. Why? Because I am a bad daughter. Why? Because I don’t play by my dad’s rules for our relationship. Is that your belief? That you must play by your dad’s rules to be a good daughter? It’s what I learned from my dad. Now that you are an adult woman, do you […]
As a child, I was a shy, quiet girl. I never wanted to demand or impose. I was afraid of rejection so I wouldn’t initiate sleepovers or invite new friends over. I neglected my own inner voice. I taught myself I didn’t matter. In college, I got brave. I started asking people to do things. […]
Years ago, I interviewed Peter Walsh and he told me the key to his success: Commit 100%, totally commit. Be absolutely all-in. Wow. 100% commitment means no room for wobble or self-doubt. Peter then shared his second key to success: Re-evaluate in 6 months. This isn’t for the rest of your life. The 6 months […]