When I was a junior in college, I secretly pursued a HUGE GOAL for myself. I wanted to be a National Champion in the 200 yard butterfly at the Division II NCAA’s. I told no one. Because I could not risk failure and losing “face” if it did not come true. But that’s another discussion. […]
Whenever I do something completely new (something I don’t have a lot of confidence in and/or have no control over the outcome) I often notice: The tight shoulders. The pressure. The mental drama in my brain. The procrastination. The busyness that doesn’t accomplish anything. The voice in the back of my head that says you […]
You can’t act with confidence when you hate yourself. That would not be confidence, it would be a lie. Let’s look at the definition of confidence: the state of feeling certain about the truth of something. a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. the feeling or belief that […]
Years ago, I interviewed Peter Walsh and he told me the key to his success: Commit 100%, totally commit. Be absolutely all-in. Wow. 100% commitment means no room for wobble or self-doubt. Peter then shared his second key to success: Re-evaluate in 6 months. This isn’t for the rest of your life. The 6 months […]
Stop waiting. This life is not a practice run. This is real. Don’t ask for permission. Instead, give yourself your own permission. Manage risk, then go after what you want. Here’s what this looks like … One of my clients wants a new career path. She’s a highly skilled and respected executive. She has a […]
A couple of years ago I found myself in a group email thread where a male swim coach was trying to stop me from using my voice. He did not like that I was asking hard questions, that I was willing to use my voice to speak to our governing body. Have you ever found […]
My client used busy as a status symbol for happiness. If she was busy, she thought, she could prove to others she was worthy … and therefore would be happy. Sure, busy fills up that vulnerable white space we covet, but are so afraid of because we are then alone with ourselves. If you don’t […]
I’m blown away at the life I’ve created for myself. If you don’t know my story, I was a girl who once believed “she was a loser born on loser street.” I grew up poor in an alcoholic home. My parents really loved us … however there was just a lot, a whole lot, of […]
I want someone to feel sorry for me. So someone will rescue me. I want the white knight to come and fix my problem. So I don’t have to be vulnerable (uncertainty, emotional exposure + risk). I want the imaginary white knight because then I can bet on “him” instead of me. So I don’t […]
I feel guilty. Why? Because I am a bad daughter. Why? Because I don’t play by my dad’s rules for our relationship. Is that your belief? That you must play by your dad’s rules to be a good daughter? It’s what I learned from my dad. Now that you are an adult woman, do you […]