Whenever I do something completely new (something I don’t have a lot of confidence in and/or have no control over the outcome) I often notice: The tight shoulders. The pressure. The mental drama in my brain. The procrastination. The busyness that doesn’t accomplish anything. The voice in the back of my head that says you […]
My clients are smart, hard working overachievers. They often identify themselves as high achievers. Because they “know” that overachiever is not a “good” title to have. They are soooooooooo hard on themselves. On the outside they are perceived as having it made. They’re “Successful!” They are perceived as being confident. Oh my friend, on the […]
Are you always saying you’re sorry for no REAL reason? If yes, stop that right now! This is part of the cultural programming that has taught women it’s their fault. First, is there anything you need to be apologizing for? Second, dig deep here … do you really mean it or are those words just […]
Recently while talking to someone … they asked me about the connection between being ENOUGH and being a BADASS version of YOU … He believed “being ENOUGH was settling. Instead of settling shouldn’t we do more?” That’s always the answer for an overachiever. Do more, do more, do more. The problem … doing more is […]
I want someone to feel sorry for me. So someone will rescue me. I want the white knight to come and fix my problem. So I don’t have to be vulnerable (uncertainty, emotional exposure + risk). I want the imaginary white knight because then I can bet on “him” instead of me. So I don’t […]
My clients often put up a lot of resistance to committing to their best case scenario. They tend to throw a lot of “but …” sentences out there, reasons why they can’t possibly commit. To help them overcome this resistance, I share ideas about committing to the best case scenario, while also managing risk. During […]
Shame is what threatens your place of love + belonging. When you struggle with shame — and we all do — you can: Try to outrun it. However, it is always there. Wherever you are, there it is, inside of you. Sell yourself out in order to please others in your life. While we think […]
When I was a junior in college, I secretly pursued a HUGE GOAL for myself. I wanted to be a National Champion in the 200 yard butterfly at the Division II NCAA’s. I told no one. Because I could not risk failure and losing “face” if it did not come true. But that’s another discussion. […]
A couple of years ago I found myself in a group email thread where a male swim coach was trying to stop me from using my voice. He did not like that I was asking hard questions, that I was willing to use my voice to speak to our governing body. Have you ever found […]
Stop waiting. This life is not a practice run. This is real. Don’t ask for permission. Instead, give yourself your own permission. Manage risk, then go after what you want. Here’s what this looks like … One of my clients wants a new career path. She’s a highly skilled and respected executive. She has a […]