One thing about being an approval whore … you are seeking out someone else to do your job. You want others to believe in you. Because you believe … if they approve of you … they can see how capable you are and then believe in you. Then you don’t have to believe in you. […]
I’m an idiot. I’m dumb. I’m such a loser. I’m sure you can add to the list of critical thoughts you tell yourself over and over and over again, every hour of every day. What’s your intention with these mean things you’re saying to yourself? A better YOU? We’ve been culturally programmed to believe criticism […]
You’ve been told, “Be perfect and you’ll be safe.” Our culture promotes “Be perfect to be loved.” We’ve been lied to. Perfection is not the path to love + belonging. When you are trying to be perfect you are actually cultivating a persona of who you think you’re supposed to be — based on who […]
Does any of this sound familiar? You’ve achieved great success in your career … but you still second guess yourself. You’ve created a good professional life … but your personal life doesn’t match. You’re smart and have the degrees to prove it … but you still believe you are a fraud. On the outside you […]
Yes, I know you’ve heard it before … you’re worthy as you are, right now, right here. But you don’t believe it. In fact you don’t believe you’re worthy of love + belonging just as you are. You’ve been living by made up rules that promise worthiness: you must be accomplished you must be a […]
You say “YES” when you really want to say “NO.” You are afraid that if you don’t “people please” people will leave you. Here’s the thing. You’re so busy considering what other people think of you + what they think you should do. That you haven’t given thought or space to what you want to […]
I know … there’s a voice in the back of your head. You worry that it’s true. This voice catches you in those moments of doubt. And it has the perfect story to tell you. “You’re a FRAUD!!!” It’s a lie. It’s a lie to keep you small. It’s a lie to protect you from […]
Have you let other people define you? They tell you who you are and what you are supposed to do. By the time I was in my twenties I had let other people define me for years. I accepted their words as my own truth. Koren is: Confrontational. Difficult. Scary. Not like other women (yes […]
When you are no longer willing to tolerate your unworthiness … You are finally free to become whoever you truly are inside. Let yourself: Shine. Be heard. Be seen. Be liked. Be disliked by others. When you no longer tolerate the stories and internal judgements of not being enough, you can finally be who you […]
“Approval whoring” does not sound nice. Why not use “people pleasing” instead? People pleasing sounds nice. Women have been culturally programmed to be nice. Women have been culturally programmed to put other people’s needs before their own. Women have been culturally programmed that if we are nice and put people’s needs in front of our […]