You don’t want to be selfish. You’ve been taught — or rather, culturally programmed — in order to be a good enough wife and mother you must put everyone else ahead of YOU. In fact, your teens are more than happy to ensure this message on a daily basis. At work, your supposed to be […]
I help my clients stop pursuing living a perfect life and instead live the life they want on their terms. Here’s the problem… perfection is the birthplace of shame. You know that awful feeling inside that tells you: You are bad! You are not enough! There’s something wrong with you! You don’t belong here! […]
Two types of leadership. Growing up…there weren’t many female leaders I knew about. On TV the leaders were men. While I had female leaders in the classroom and a powerful force of a mother, until college all of my swimming coaches had been male. I was culturally programmed to not value my mother and the […]
Recently while talking to someone … they asked me about the connection between being ENOUGH and being a BADASS version of YOU … He believed “being ENOUGH was settling. Instead of settling shouldn’t we do more?” That’s always the answer for an overachiever. Do more, do more, do more. The problem … doing more is […]
“Who hates Koren?” Those three words used to cause me so much pain and suffering. When I was in fifth grade, I received a note after library class with those three words listed at the top of the paper, along with signatures of my classmates. CRUSHING to anyone, especially this shy, insecure 10 year […]
Have you noticed the voices in your heads often ask you crappy questions like: What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening to me? Why is my life so hard? When you ask those questions it does not take you out of shame but helps you further dive into this feeling you want nothing to […]
Perfectionism: The golden handcuffs of life. You believe that once you finally look perfect, act perfect, and always do perfect that you’ll get the results you want. STOP! This lie of perfectionism only creates more shame … more of those little voices in the back of your head that tell you… “See, you’re really not […]
I’m not enough. I’m a fraud. I don’t know everything. I am too much. I am bad. Sound familiar? They are like those damn junior high friends who always had something not so nice to say in the back of your head. My work with my clients is about becoming shame resilient. This does not […]
In my own life, since I didn’t believe in myself, I leaned HARD on those who did believe in me. Over time, I exhausted them. I could not accept their belief in me, and would discount and ignore them, and yet keep going back for more validation. I just wanted to be able to see […]