You made a decision. In fact you may not even be aware of this decision. But you’ve been living with it for years!!! You’ve lived with the rule that you can only believe in yourself once others believe in you. Until others believe in you … believing in yourself – is not allowed. You must […]
How to stop the self-hatred
Did you ever stop to think “does my self-hatred help me get to self-love?” My friend, it doesn’t. Culturally, it’s acceptable to be self-critical … and even self-deprecating. But to be proud of oneself? Never. Not allowed. Self-hatred starts in small, seemingly benign steps … self- criticism self-deprecation Those two small steps lead to self-hatred, […]
What rules do you want to live by?
You live by rules. You’ve accepted these rules as LAW. You let these rules govern you without questioning. You haven’t even considered these rules may not be TRUE. These rules create pressure inside of you. What rules am I talking about? Be a good girl and you will be enough. Be successful and you will […]
Choose
One of my strengths is my ability to be courageous. I work on being courageous in my life, by writing you these emails, by owning my voice, by sharing what I believe with you, my friends and my family. Often times my own family can be the hardest place to show up and own my […]
A challenge for you
What if you committed to one personal development book for a year? This means you, read the entire book, re-read it again and used it as a resource. You would have to actually apply the information you read and USE the nuggets of wisdom. Where would you be in 12 months? What I know for […]
The best thing that ever happened for me …
In my twenties I was hired as a head coach and college teacher. This is the kind of “ultimate” job for so many people I know. It was a safe job because tenure was involved. And it came with some of the freedom that comes with academia – “no 9-5.” On the outside this job […]
WHERE ARE YOU ROOTED?
Think of yourself as a tree. Stay with me now. You are a tree. Solid trunk. Lots of branches and leaves. Now think about your roots. Where are your roots growing? Are they growing in toxic soil? Are they growing in rich + robust soil? Now let’s think about our emotional states as soil. Shame […]
Confidence before achievement
Often my clients struggle with self-confidence in either their professional or personal lives. They find themselves confident in one part of their life but not in others. They believe the solution is to work harder to become more confident in the other parts. They’ve followed the promise of achieving X and the result will be […]
Stop using “busy” to measure happiness
My client used busy as a status symbol for happiness. If she was busy, she thought, she could prove to others she was worthy … and therefore would be happy. Sure, busy fills up that vulnerable white space we covet, but are so afraid of because we are then alone with ourselves. If you don’t […]
How does this serve you?
I’m not appreciated. I often hear this from clients when they are verbal vomiting the painful stories in their head about an area they are struggling with. A magic trick I have to stop the vomit is to ask “how does it serve you to believe you are not appreciated.” The immediate answer, It doesn’t […]
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