I love this quote by Dolly Parton … “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” Our biggest fear is if someone really gets to know us, they’ll realize we aren’t really good enough + they won’t like us. So the easy thing is to become who you think other people want you […]
Self-help is a lie
We used to have a Borders bookstore in Davis. One of my favorite things to do on a date night was head over to the bookstore after our dinner. I didn’t have a clue where my husband headed. I always headed for the self-help section. The idea of self-help was enticing. It was my way, […]
Writing your next chapter
I have a long held belief … there has got to be a better way. I hated the movie As Good as it Gets with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt. I believe in being a deliberate creator in our life. I believe in possibilities for all of us. Not just those who have had great […]
Leaving the cult of perfectionism
You’ve been told, “Be perfect and you’ll be safe.” Our culture promotes “Be perfect to be loved.” We’ve been lied to. Perfection is not the path to love + belonging. When you are trying to be perfect you are actually cultivating a persona of who you think you’re supposed to be — based on who […]
Does “nice” mean cupcakes???
As a young female leader, I made a decision about how I would lead. I could be “nice.” If I did that, I would be walked all over, while also being responsible for bringing cupcakes for my employee’s birthdays. Or, I could be a “bitch.” Then I would not have to be responsible for bringing […]
Self-hatred is alive and well
Listen carefully. People say the meanest things about themselves all the time. There’s just too much fat here to lift my leg to my chest. I’m lazy. I didn’t want to because it’s too hard and I’m not tough enough. I take the path of least resistance because I’m not capable. I’m irritated with myself […]
Is there any other option?
Compassion is the biggest motivator for change. Compassion is the pathway to growth … and to blowing your mind about what’s possible for YOU. This is counter to the culture. We were taught to beat ourselves up. To hate on ourselves. To make ourselves small. And then, maybe, you will achieve! That’s totally wrong. And […]
Understanding vs. Knowing
I was coaching a new client today. She’s reading Brené Brown’s latest book Dare to Lead. She is struggling with her leadership role as the Executive Director (ED) of a non-profit and one of the dedicated volunteers who is challenging my client’s leadership. After I coached her, she realized that simply reading the information was […]
You know what to do. But you aren’t doing it.
You’ve been around here listening to the podcast How She Really Does It: The Place Where Inspiration + Possibility Meet for a while now. You’ve been an engaged reader of my SUNDAY LOVE email. You know what to do. I’ve given you the coaching tools … yet you still aren’t doing it. You don’t make […]
End the mighty war with yourself
You have battled yourself. You have tried to assassinate your flawed self, hoping to resurrect a “good person.” You’ve gone to war with yourself by attacking yourself with hatred. But it didn’t work. Stop the battle. Stop the assassination. Stop the war with yourself, it will never work. HOW TO STOP THE WAR WITH YOURSELF […]
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