Movies, songs, tv shows, books, magazines. They’re filled with evidence of the unending quest to find love. The quest for connection. Does your current “state of love” look anything like this artwork by Alexander Milliav? It takes courage to LOVE. It’s so easy to turn our backs on those we love, while at the same […]
The first step to going gladiator
Bring it on. If you are going to mess with me, I’ll fuck with you. Sound familiar? That’s the first step to going gladiator. Going gladiator is when someone comes at you and you puff up. But really, it’s a way to disconnect from that awful feeling of shame (the voice of you […]
Does “nice” mean cupcakes???
As a young female leader, I made a decision about how I would lead. I could be “nice.” If I did that, I would be walked all over, while also being responsible for bringing cupcakes for my employee’s birthdays. Or, I could be a “bitch.” Then I would not have to be responsible for bringing […]
What do you want to do with your one precious life?
Stop waiting. This life is not a practice run. This is real. Don’t ask for permission. Instead, give yourself your own permission. Manage risk, then go after what you want. Here’s what this looks like … One of my clients wants a new career path. She’s a highly skilled and respected executive. She has a […]
I Love Money
I used to hate money. I used to be afraid of money. I believed that money did not come to people like me – the loser from loser street. Here’s the thing, money is neutral. Money doesn’t cause pain or suffering. In fact, money doesn’t cause happiness either. It’s the commonly accepted stories about money […]
You don’t need anyone’s permission to set your own boundaries
A couple of years ago I found myself in a group email thread where a male swim coach was trying to stop me from using my voice. He did not like that I was asking hard questions, that I was willing to use my voice to speak to our governing body. Have you ever found […]
Making mistakes DOES NOT make you a failure
You need to stop believing that making mistakes makes you a failure. I realize we have been taught that mistakes equal an “F” in school … however, my friend, this is life, not the rules of school. Mistakes are lessons learned … and we all go through them (and even need them). Yes, all of […]
Rewriting your story
In my swimming world, I am faced with a lot of obstacles surrounding “the story of swim meets.” Years ago, Dan Pink and I had a discussion about swim meets. He did not like them, “you spent all day and if you weren’t paying attention, could miss your child’s 14 second race.” Unfortunately, while Dan […]
The answer you’ve been searching for your entire life
I had it all wrong. I thought I had to be better than I could possibly be. I thought I had to achieve great success. I thought I had to be perfect. Then, if I could achieve all of these things, I’d be loved. I would finally be worthy of love + belonging. The thing […]
How to show up in life when you feel like a fraud
You think you’re a fraud. You don’t know how to show up in your life because of this story. So you hide away. You don’t show up. You don’t speak out. You don’t create what you want in your life. Let’s take a look at the definition of fraud: “A person or thing intended to […]
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