My client was frustrated with her mother.
As an adult daughter, my client viewed her mother as controlling.
Sound familiar? Oh those mother-daughter relationships.
When she views her mother as controlling, my client gets:
- Short with her mother.
- Gives herself permission to indulge in her self-destructive behaviors.
- Has a party in her mouth with food.
- Puts up armor that creates disconnection + resentment for both of them.
To view her mother as “controlling” carries a high cost to my client.
To view her mother as “controlling” allows my client to rebel against her mother.
My client has forgotten that she is an adult and she has the power of choice.
Her mother is not the boss of her.
She can make her own decisions.
Once my client realized her mother was a strong woman, and really not controlling her, she was able to see what she was missing out on.
By viewing her mother as controlling, she’s missing out on a woman who loves her very much.
By viewing her mother as controlling, she’s missing out on having the support she needs from someone who totally has her back.
By viewing her mother as controlling, she’s missing out on receiving the love she hungers for and instead of filling herself with food.
By viewing her mother as controlling, she’s missing out on a woman who can offer her love + connection along with healthy boundaries.
By viewing her mother as controlling, she didn’t realize her mom has her own life to lead as well.
By viewing her mother as controlling, she’s missing out on someone who she actually has a really good time with.
My client viewed her mother as controlling because she didn’t know how to transition from being a child to an adult daughter.
To perceive her mother this way allowed her to justify her behavior to herself.
But it also caused my client tremendous pain and resentment. She wanted love. She wanted connection. She also wanted her own space and the ability to make her own decisions.
She’s letting go of her story that her mom is controlling.
She’s learning to have boundaries.
She’s reminding herself she is the leader of her life.
She gives herself permission that she ultimately gets to make the final decisions in her life.
She knows her mom has strong opinions and that does not mean they are facts, they are opinions.
She is practicing being vulnerable and receiving love.
She is loving her mom now and that feels way better than the resentment and pain she lived with for so long when she viewed her mother as controlling.
The next time you see someone as controlling … what if you were to let go of that story, who would you see? How would this person be a gift to you in your life?
Remember you are the leader of your life. You get to say yes and no.
P.S. Making your own decisions and being the leader of your life requires self-trust. If you could use some help in that area, I have a comprehensive on-demand workshop on the subject. Click here to learn more and get the workshop.