When someone asks you how you’re doing? Do you tell them all the shitty things that are going on? Do you tell them all the amazing things in your life? As you go through your day, do you: Focus on what’s not working? Focus on what is working in your life, job, family? When you […]
No people pleasers allowed
No people pleasers here. My preferred term is approval whore. You know, someone who says or does what they think others want instead of what they want. However, you may not recognize yourself as an approval whore. So, I’ll rephrase my term to people pleasers While you’ve been taught that it’s “nice” to people please, […]
It’s the little things …
I understand. You get busy … You didn’t realize … That your relationships with your girlfriends are created by the little things. But, you’ve discounted the little things. Instead you listen to the voice in the back of your head: “It doesn’t matter.” “No one will notice.” “She won’t care.” “It’s really not that big […]
You edit your story
A friend of mine was so excited. She had a big dream to travel. This was one of those bucket list trips. One that a few years ago was not something she even believed was possible for her. This trip was far from her reality. Until now. She was sitting in this breathtaking place and […]
Stop being confused
Stop being confused. This is a distraction. Confusion gives you permission to not do anything. You get to remain exactly where you are. It seems innocent … yet it’s toxic. Toxic…because you: Don’t make any forward movement. Are still in the same place. Make this lack of progress about you not being good enough. Don’t […]
Trashy novels
My clients are high achievers. They are smart, intelligent, hard workers. Here’s the thing … many wouldn’t even use those words to identify themselves. They usually come to me and say they aren’t disciplined. They may want to be perceived as smart, but they aren’t confident that that’s really the case because they are so […]
How to finally find out who you are
I love this quote by Dolly Parton … “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” Our biggest fear is if someone really gets to know us, they’ll realize we aren’t really good enough + they won’t like us. So the easy thing is to become who you think other people want you […]
Self-help is a lie
We used to have a Borders bookstore in Davis. One of my favorite things to do on a date night was head over to the bookstore after our dinner. I didn’t have a clue where my husband headed. I always headed for the self-help section. The idea of self-help was enticing. It was my way, […]
Writing your next chapter
I have a long held belief … there has got to be a better way. I hated the movie As Good as it Gets with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt. I believe in being a deliberate creator in our life. I believe in possibilities for all of us. Not just those who have had great […]
Leaving the cult of perfectionism
You’ve been told, “Be perfect and you’ll be safe.” Our culture promotes “Be perfect to be loved.” We’ve been lied to. Perfection is not the path to love + belonging. When you are trying to be perfect you are actually cultivating a persona of who you think you’re supposed to be — based on who […]
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