Your biggest fear is what other people say about you. So you hustle for others to approve of you. You tell other people what you believe they want to hear. You do what other people want you to do. In fact you spend so much time and energy trying to control what other people say […]
You make a phone call. The other person answers (your friend, sister, mother, brother …). And … you dive right into all your problems and frustrations. You start verbally vomiting. It’s immediate. It follows when they say “hello.” You start talking right away. Without cultivating a connection with “how are you? I’m going through a […]
People often think life is an either/or. Either you sacrifice yourself at work to create the career you want … and your personal life struggles. Or you give up your career to have the family you want. While those are indeed two options, they aren’t the only options. Doing good work does NOT mean you […]
My client was in tears. I asked her, “Do you want to fit in … or belong.” Her response surprised me. “I want to fit in.” Fitting in is an attempt at making yourself who you think others want you to be. Belonging is showing up fully as your complete messy + lovable self. She […]
Let’s say you have a friend who’s fierce. She is strong and capable. Do you ever reach out to her to see how she’s really doing? Might be a tough thing to do. Since she’s strong and capable, she may not be used to letting you in. But here’s the thing, we all need to […]