I was in the middle of a text conversation with someone I care about.
There was some vulnerable sharing that was occuring in the texts.
The problem I have with texting … I don’t have to be fully committed to the “conversation.”
I can get distracted + stop texting.
Thereby, ghosting the other person.
Why, you ask?
I was doing other work when the texts came in.
I choose to respond.
More texts came in.
I was silent. Yes that dreaded no response to a text. 😧
I wanted to give a heartfelt response.
My capacity was limited as I was in the middle of a project and my focus was there.
That’s the first mistake I made.
I answered a text while in the middle of a project.
I created space for my friend.
But I didn’t really have much space outside of just a “hello.”
In the end … I gave silence for 5 days until I could respond with the words I wanted to support my friend + his family.
My second mistake was believing I had to have the right words, so I chose to say nothing upon receiving the text.
My third mistake was I missed my opportunity to tell my friend I have more to say and want to think about how to say it.
My friend will never say it … nor may he realize … but that day I broke our trust.
Relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman says “Trust is built in very small moments.”
My texting fails are an example of broken trust in small moments.
My younger self would have ignored this broken trust.
I would have pretended “no big deal.”
But I know better.
As Dr. Maya Angelou says, “When you know better … you do better.”
I know better.
I own my story with you.
I love myself.
I rebuild trust with my friend in small steps.
NOTE TO SELF: Don’t answer texts unless fully available…
P.S. For more on this topic, check out this podcast episode: Cultivate relationships that rise up with you