Do you have that friend who is so nice and sweet?
She uses loving words.
She tells you how amazing you are.
She calls you beautiful + amazing.
Her words feel so good to you.
You are drawn to her because you love how she sees you and, heck, it’s good for your ego.
You make plans.
You make plans again.
She cancels … always with lovely words about how amazing and beautiful you are.
You continue to make plans again.
She cancels again with more lovely words about you.
Is she making plans for what she wants?
Or is she making plans to give me what she believes I want?
And then she can’t bear it so she cancels with an excuse … work, health, kids, etc.
It doesn’t matter what words she uses, because over time the pattern of her cancelling creates a space for a story in your head.
The usual story my clients use to fill that void is “she doesn’t really like me so she always cancels.”
Do you find yourself doing the same thing?
Do you see how painful this can be for everyone?
Next time you say YES to something but really want to say NO but you think you are being nice … instead be truthful. Say NO.
It’s much less painful to the person then the YES/NO, YES/NO, YES/NO.
Clear is KIND.
Changing from “yes” to “no” is not kind.
P.S. You suck at being clear and need help with that…Apply for private coaching to create the meaningful and connected relationships you really want.