We used to have a Borders bookstore in Davis.
One of my favorite things to do on a date night was head over to the bookstore after our dinner.
I didn’t have a clue where my husband headed. I always headed for the self-help section.
The idea of self-help was enticing. It was my way, in private, to “fix” myself so I could finally be a good person, and NO ONE else had to know. Except the bookstore clerk and me.
The allure was great as I would purchase those books.
I’d bring the books home with excitement and the thrill of finally being able to overcome.
And you know what? Those books would sit unread on my night stand or be hidden in my closet (for real privacy).
That was it!
I had plenty of reasons why.
I was a busy person. Still am and always will be.
I was too tired. So I’d stay awake for a couple more hours watching BAD TV.
I’d get to reading them on the weekend. A slippery slope of rationalizing which only further contributed to a distrusting relationship with myself.
The idea of self-help is great for publishers and authors. For the price of $17.99 you can change your life.
The reality for most people? We don’t actually apply what’s in those books without accountability or a deadline.
I became much better at reading books once I started my show in 2006. Forever grateful to all those weekly deadlines and the chance to talk with so many authors and researchers!
Athletes have teams and coaches to challenge them and help them strive for excellence.
Many universities offer their lectures on YouTube. However, for students to learn and actually apply that knowledge, it’s way more effective when delivered with accountability. That’s the value of a college education.
Self-help is a lie, because we aren’t meant to go it alone + it’s not work that can be done by ourselves.
We are hard-wired for connection.
Accountability and deadlines help us keep our priorities straight.
My friend, you aren’t meant to go it alone.
Find a friend to “go it” with you. They must be willing to have hard conversations when one of you is not following through.
Find a “team” that you can be part of to help you become the best version of you!
P.S. To take a step towards becoming the best version of you, start changing your thoughts and stories. Click here to get my favorite tool for this.