Have you noticed the voices in your heads often ask you crappy questions like: What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening to me? Why is my life so hard? When you ask those questions it does not take you out of shame but helps you further dive into this feeling you want nothing to […]
You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing
Perfectionism: The golden handcuffs of life. You believe that once you finally look perfect, act perfect, and always do perfect that you’ll get the results you want. STOP! This lie of perfectionism only creates more shame … more of those little voices in the back of your head that tell you… “See, you’re really not […]
A Demand Dressed Up as a Question
A true question is one where the other person can say YES or NO. Will you do me a favor? Can you close the windows? Will you stop at the store on the way home? Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? We believe we are asking a question because we put a question mark at the end […]
Are you living in the Swampland of Shame?
This is how I used to do it: When I was in pain, I would pitch a tent, build a campfire and invite people (actually anyone willing to hear all the gory details at length) to sit with me. I was a great story fondler, going over + over the details of how I was […]
Invitation Not an Obligation
As a child, I was a shy, quiet girl. I never wanted to demand or impose. I was afraid of rejection so I wouldn’t initiate sleepovers or invite new friends over. I neglected my own inner voice. I taught myself I didn’t matter. In college, I got brave. I started asking people to do things. […]
Shame is the voice of I’m not enough
I’m not enough. I’m a fraud. I don’t know everything. I am too much. I am bad. Sound familiar? They are like those damn junior high friends who always had something not so nice to say in the back of your head. My work with my clients is about becoming shame resilient. This does not […]
What it takes to ACTUALLY change
I used to believe change wasn’t possible for someone like me. Why? Because I had evidence it wasn’t possible. I thought I was working really hard, but I actually wasn’t working at all. I bought books, they sat on my nightstand. I wanted to stop overeating, except for my nightly three bowls of ice cream. […]
Believe in Yourself – this is where it begins
In my own life, since I didn’t believe in myself, I leaned HARD on those who did believe in me. Over time, I exhausted them. I could not accept their belief in me, and would discount and ignore them, and yet keep going back for more validation. I just wanted to be able to see […]
Choose your words carefully
Choose your words carefully. Your language will have an effect on your energy and can determine the results in your life. I am not talking about your word(s) for the year. I am talking about the words you use in your day to day language. The other day, my client told me she was tired […]
Are you having courageous conversations?
You want to connect. So do I. In fact, you and I are hardwired for connection. But we don’t want to be vulnerable or expose ourselves to emotional risk. And vulnerability is the only pathway to connection. It’s the oldest Catch 22. And also the most painful. The key is courageous conversations. Saying the one […]
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