As a child, I was a shy, quiet girl. I never wanted to demand or impose. I was afraid of rejection so I wouldn’t initiate sleepovers or invite new friends over. I neglected my own inner voice. I taught myself I didn’t matter.
In college, I got brave. I started asking people to do things. I became the social coordinator for my group of friends. But I also found out I was really good at getting people to do things they did not want to do, out of obligation.
One day, I realized I didn’t want someone to do something with me if they didn’t want to do it. I realized that when I do something out of obligation, I don’t show up as my best self. So, when I obligate others to do things with me, I’m not getting their best selves. I decided I only wanted someone to do things with me if it was a HELL YES! Never out of obligation.
My motto became: It’s an invitation, not an obligation.
Now, before I reach out and ask, I remind myself of my motto. While I wait for the RSVP, I remind myself. If they say no, I remind myself + thank myself for being brave + vulnerable. If they say YES, I say thank you to them and to me for being brave + vulnerable.
I invite you to use your voice. Ask for what you want. Invite people to join you. Let go of obligations. Say thank you to yourself for being brave + vulnerable regardless of the outcome.
P.S. If you’ve been looking for a safe place to grow, a place grounded in compassion, a place to connect with other like minded humans, a place where you belong, apply for my upcoming ENOUGH group coaching program right here …