“Approval whoring” does not sound nice. Why not use “people pleasing” instead? People pleasing sounds nice. Women have been culturally programmed to be nice. Women have been culturally programmed to put other people’s needs before their own. Women have been culturally programmed that if we are nice and put people’s needs in front of our […]
I’ve just returned from one of those life big moments. My husband was inducted in the American Swim Coaches Hall of Fame for his body of work over the past 34 years, developing 2 Olympians ,1 Paralympian, and thousands of others. Over the years I’ve been on “both sides of the curtain.” On the outside […]
You want to change your life. You want to like yourself. You want to work on your personal development. BUT … you don’t have enough time! Let’s get to the root cause of not enough time. “I don’t have enough time” is a limiting belief. Because you don’t believe you matter there will never be […]
Do you have that friend who is so nice and sweet? She uses loving words. She tells you how amazing you are. She calls you beautiful + amazing. Her words feel so good to you. You are drawn to her because you love how she sees you and, heck, it’s good for your ego. BUT […]
People have opinions. In fact, they have lots of opinions. And don’t worry, their opinions include judgements about what you should and shouldn’t do. Don’t let their judgements stop you. Instead you must listen to the inside of you. Give your opinion more weight than you do other people’s judgement. Last fall, I was helping […]
My client was going out with her husband to celebrate their anniversary. She picked a hat to wear with her outfit. She was so excited about this hat because she loved the way it looked on her. Then … She got worried. What if her husband didn’t like it? What if he thought she was […]
I seem to talk about this over + over + over again. While we have been culturally programmed to believe it’s nice to people please (AKA – approval whore) it is NOT. When you edit your thoughts, feelings + values to please someone else, you are not letting others get to know the real you. […]
You make a phone call. The other person answers (your friend, sister, mother, brother …). And … you dive right into all your problems and frustrations. You start verbally vomiting. It’s immediate. It follows when they say “hello.” You start talking right away. Without cultivating a connection with “how are you? I’m going through a […]
People often think life is an either/or. Either you sacrifice yourself at work to create the career you want … and your personal life struggles. Or you give up your career to have the family you want. While those are indeed two options, they aren’t the only options. Doing good work does NOT mean you […]
My client was in tears. I asked her, “Do you want to fit in … or belong.” Her response surprised me. “I want to fit in.” Fitting in is an attempt at making yourself who you think others want you to be. Belonging is showing up fully as your complete messy + lovable self. She […]