“Approval whoring” does not sound nice.
Why not use “people pleasing” instead?
People pleasing sounds nice.
- Women have been culturally programmed to be nice.
- Women have been culturally programmed to put other people’s needs before their own.
- Women have been culturally programmed that if we are nice and put people’s needs in front of our own, we will have a place to be accepted + belong.
My friend, these are all LIES.
When you are pleasing others over yourself, you aren’t being nice to you and you’re definitely not being nice to them … resentment will fester.
When you are putting everyone’s needs before your own, with the promise that one day you’ll get your chance … you’ll live your life in regret, because you never made it to your own to do list.
When you find yourself being accepted and in the midst of so-called “belonging” by acting how other people want you to, you aren’t being true to your authentic self and you become filled with self-hatred.
We’ve been told to believe people pleasing is nice. It’s not.
Of course, it’s much softer to call this people pleasing, as it’s a much less “in your face” way to operate.
We need to STOP people pleasing.
Let’s call it what it really is … we are selling ourselves out for the approval of others.
In other words … APPROVAL WHORING.
When we call it what it truly is, we don’t get swept away with who we are supposed to be per society. Instead, we remember we don’t want to sell ourselves out to gain approval from other people.
Call it approval whoring to see clearly what you are doing.
Stop it so you can be YOU — who you are really supposed to be is inside of you!
P.S. I promise you, underneath all that approval whoring lies the best version of you. Need help finding it? Apply for private coaching with me.