My client was frustrated with her mother. As an adult daughter, my client viewed her mother as controlling. Sound familiar? Oh those mother-daughter relationships. When she views her mother as controlling, my client gets: Short with her mother. Gives herself permission to indulge in her self-destructive behaviors. Has a party in her mouth with food. […]
We’ve been culturally programmed to pursue the promise. If I do X, then Y will occur. EXAMPLE PROMISES If you are a good girl, you’ll have a good life. If you’re highly educated, you + your family will be safe. If you’re perfect, you’ll finally be good enough. If you’re good enough, you’ll find a […]
A while back I wrote about wanting to be a person who read The New Yorker…but that I really wanted to read People magazine. I gave myself permission to get a subscription to People magazine. It’s been a fascinating experiment. At first I was so excited when it came in the mail. But it quickly […]
Many years ago I was doing a consult with a potential client. I asked her about the end result she wanted to achieve. She told me she wanted to be her own best friend. At first I thought that was a bit “fluffy.” Then I realized how wrong I was and how valuable it is […]
You did what you were told to do! You worked hard. You did what others wanted you to do. You put others first. You cared about other people’s opinions over your own. You became highly educated to prove your worthiness. You over (and over and over) achieve at work in order to prove your worthiness. […]
I used to believe others were the chosen ones, that I was the loser. If only I were good enough, they would choose me. This led me down the path of becoming an approval whore, waiting around for others to choose me. I know you are wondering how that worked out for me … It […]
How often do you say to yourself: “This isn’t supposed to be happening!” I used to say it whenever an obstacle happened in my life. What kind of obstacle: An employee leaving for a new job. My kids leaving a trail of socks throughout the house. My child with an injury. My lack of cooking […]
Self-doubt is a door slammer. Before Sheri (name has been changed) began working with me, she was the queen of indulgent mental drama. But on the outside she didn’t look like someone who was full of self-doubt. She had the fancy IVY League diplomas from both undergrad and grad school. She the letters at the […]
I used to be an energy vampire. I was not nice to me. In fact, I was filled with quite a bit of self-hatred and shame. Not great energy to have. My solution was to get other people’s energy to fuel myself. I found nice friends. In fact, I had a collection of nice people […]
You want to: Live a better life. Enjoy this one precious life of yours. Finally like yourself. Be your authentic self. It’s totally possible for YOU! You can: Realize you are ENOUGH. Live your life with confidence in who you are + what you have to offer. Be worthy with all of your strengths + […]