Why do we care about other people’s judgement? Because it threatens our belonging … or so we believe. We are hardwired for connection. We want a place to belong. Judgement does NOT feel safe. Judgement is rooted in SHAME…you know that damn voice of “not enough.” Here’s the thing, other people’s judgement has nothing to […]
10 years ago I came up with a concept for my clients and myself. Verbal Vomit. This was great for those who didn’t use their voice. The old me went years keeping my thoughts inside of me. In fact, I buried them so far down, I didn’t know what I thought. I didn’t know my […]
There’s a stirring inside of you. You know it’s a painful feeling. You don’t want to feel it. You’ve tried to numb it, and have run out of tv shows to watch. You’ve tried to outrun it, but that’s hard to do when you’re sheltered at home. You’ve tried to busy yourself, but there’s only […]
“What’s wrong with me?” “Why am I not doing what I should be doing?” Two reasons there’s a gap between what you know and what you do: The questions above lead to self-hatred … which is rooted in the feeling of SHAME. When rooted in SHAME, you either hide away or beat the crap out of yourself. This […]
I should know how to do it. I’m so stupid. I can’t ever get it right. Sound familiar? Effective? Only if you want to continue to feel less confident of yourself. Remember we are all newbies in a global pandemic. You aren’t going to know how to do it, you’ll make mistakes not because your […]
There’s a lot of uncertainty in our world right now. With the uncertainty is a lot of information, worry, + panic. Our brains are quickly processing all the information and we have thousands upon thousands of thoughts running through our brain. Many of us are experiencing anxiety. According to Dr. Harriet Lerner, we deal with […]
Last week, one of my clients told me, “my feelings aren’t valid unless someone else takes them seriously.” Is that ABSOLUTELY true? Before we go any further. The answer is YES or NO. I know that will trigger a lot of …”but Koren …” Let’s try this again. Is it ABSOLUTELY true that your feelings […]
Lately I’ve noticed this voice in the back of my head. It’s been there a long time. I just wasn’t aware of the message I was listening to. This voice likes me to believe “it’s all on me!!!!” It really doesn’t matter what “it” is. Before I became aware of this voice, I often acted […]
The other day my husband came home, and I got the sense, oh no, something is wrong. Not a word had been said. Not a door had been slammed, I could just sense it. Even on the other side of the house, I could feel it in the air. Our energy is the the feeling […]