I should know how to do it.
I’m so stupid.
I can’t ever get it right.
Only if you want to continue to feel less confident of yourself.
Remember we are all newbies in a global pandemic. You aren’t going to know how to do it, you’ll make mistakes not because your stupid, because you are figuring things out. And you will get it right over time.
Self-criticism, self-hatred, + self-blame doesn’t lead you to becoming the best version of yourself. It takes you further away from … becoming your own best friend.
Think about it … how long would you have a best friend if you constantly criticized her, hated her, and blamed her for all of your problems. Yet that’s how we continually treat ourselves, believing it will lead us to the results we want.
What’s the answer?
What is compassion?
Kindness. Treat yourself the way you would treat your own best friend.
Common humanity. Realizing you are not the only one who experiences pain, trauma, shame + mistakes. And yes, like others, you too can overcome these situations.
Mindfulness. Your ability to know the mean stories that live in the back of your head + the feelings these stories create. But you don’t attach to either the stories or the feelings. Both of which only lead you to living in the swampland of shame.
When you are in a state of shame your only focus is to disconnect from this painful feeling state. So you use 1 of 3 strategies:
- Hide away or numb out
- Become an approval whore
- Gladiate onto others (or inner-gladiate onto yourself).
When you are in a state of fear, your body is programmed to respond in one of 3 ways:
Neither of those states lead to an outcome of you being your own best friend. Instead, you become disconnected and exhausted.
When you live in a state of compassion this feeling state allows you to have peripheral vision.
- You can see the “problem” in its entirety.
- You notice your strengths + your flaws.
- You come up with solutions to solve your problem.
- You take action toward solving your problem.
- You’re able to make mistakes, learn, and try again.
Compassion is the answer you have been looking for, and needed even more so during this time of COVID-19. Stop with the self-hatred, self-criticism, and self-blaming. Be compassionate with yourself. You will eventually become your own best friend because you’ll be supportive, will hold yourself accountable, and become helpful and trustworthy.
P.S. I promise you, underneath all that self-hatred lies the best version of you. Need help finding it? Click here to get my new DIY digital workshop: Becoming ENOUGH.