One of my clients, Rob, recently earned a promotion at work. I realize you’re thinking “fantastic.” Celebration. ? Oh no!!! This is when the drama begins. This new promotion has awakened the beast in the back of his head: You’re really not good enough for this job. Your colleagues don’t really like you, they don’t […]
Two types of leadership. Growing up…there weren’t many female leaders I knew about. On TV the leaders were men. While I had female leaders in the classroom and a powerful force of a mother, until college all of my swimming coaches had been male. I was culturally programmed to not value my mother and the […]
I get it…you aren’t sure. ….What if you’re wrong? …What if you’re mistaken? ….Maybe someone else knows better? My friend, while it can seem lovely for others to believe in you…it’s just not sustainable. It’s less vulnerable to have others believe in you, than for you to believe in you…and quite possibly be wrong. Here’s […]
Recently while talking to someone … they asked me about the connection between being ENOUGH and being a BADASS version of YOU … He believed “being ENOUGH was settling. Instead of settling shouldn’t we do more?” That’s always the answer for an overachiever. Do more, do more, do more. The problem … doing more is […]
You’re a hard worker. You’re a high achiever. You’ve been taught, “Good things happen to those who work hard.” When you don’t think you are ENOUGH … you then go into overdrive and OVERACHIEVE. Work longer hours. Do more for others. Sacrifice yourself for the good of others. THE PROBLEM: You’re exhausted. You’ve literally run […]
I was in constant turmoil. I hated my job. I hated my life. Let’s face it, I hated myself. I had to stop living in the swampland of shame. I had run out of friends who were willing to sit around the campfire while I story fondled all of my woes. Actually, they were tired […]
As a kid growing up in a lot of shame, I did not believe I belonged. As an adult, it’s important for me to create environments of inclusive cultures. The theme song of my life is from the television show Cheers. I have cultivated the AquaMonsters to be a place of belonging. Our team motto […]
Any of this sound familiar? I’ll never be able to achieve [insert your goal]. What’s wrong with me? I work so hard, yet I’m not as successful as [insert the person you compare yourself with] There must be something wrong with me. I hate myself. I hate my life. Those stories are filled […]
A number of years ago, a thoughtful, long-time listener sent me an email. She asked me to consider to stop using the term “approval whore.” She believed it was demeaning. Over the next few months, I percolated on her email. While I understood her point of view, I also came to realize exactly why […]
My clients often put up a lot of resistance to committing to their best case scenario. They tend to throw a lot of “but …” sentences out there, reasons why they can’t possibly commit. To help them overcome this resistance, I share ideas about committing to the best case scenario, while also managing risk. During […]