One of the lies we tell ourselves is that if we stay busy enough, we can outrun our pain. The pain comes from the stories inside ourselves. You know … that voice in the back of your head that keeps saying all those mean things about you? Busy is a way to numb and distract […]
My client was frustrated with her mother. As an adult daughter, my client viewed her mother as controlling. Sound familiar? Oh those mother-daughter relationships. When she views her mother as controlling, my client gets: Short with her mother. Gives herself permission to indulge in her self-destructive behaviors. Has a party in her mouth with food. […]
You believe you must do better. You believe you must be better. STOP right now. Did you know we are hardwired to grow? Let’s look at babies. They live the life of luxury. 👶 A baby cries and gets fed. 👶 A baby pees/poops and gets changed. 👶 A baby gets carried and swaddled. 👶 […]
Compassion is the biggest motivator for change. Compassion is the pathway to growth … and to blowing your mind about what’s possible for YOU. This is counter to the culture. We were taught to beat ourselves up. To hate on ourselves. To make ourselves small. And then, maybe, you will achieve! That’s totally wrong. And […]
When I was a junior in college, I secretly pursued a HUGE GOAL for myself. I wanted to be a National Champion in the 200 yard butterfly at the Division II NCAA’s. I told no one. Because I could not risk failure and losing “face” if it did not come true. But that’s another discussion. […]
Whenever I do something completely new (something I don’t have a lot of confidence in and/or have no control over the outcome) I often notice: The tight shoulders. The pressure. The mental drama in my brain. The procrastination. The busyness that doesn’t accomplish anything. The voice in the back of my head that says you […]
Does the judgment of other people stop you in your tracks? Are you afraid of being judged, and “stay small” in your life? Here’s the thing … no matter what, people will judge you. In fact, it’s not really other people’s judgment we are afraid of. It’s that their judgment could be true. Instead […]
Yes, I know you’ve heard it before … you’re worthy as you are, right now, right here. But you don’t believe it. In fact you don’t believe you’re worthy of love + belonging just as you are. You’ve been living by made up rules that promise worthiness: you must be accomplished you must be a […]
One of my clients had a belief … that her partner must be 100% honest (100% of the time) to be in a loving + connected relationship. As you can imagine, this belief led to difficult and short relationships … until she realized that she herself couldn’t live up to her own demands. Another client […]
You can’t act with confidence when you hate yourself. That would not be confidence, it would be a lie. Let’s look at the definition of confidence: the state of feeling certain about the truth of something. a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. the feeling or belief that […]