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I want to be that person who reads the New Yorker …

by Koren Motekaitis

… but I secretly read People. I sneak peaks of the titles while standing in line at the grocery store. I sneak reads of the articles while visiting my dentist. I want to be a person who reads the New Yorker as I want to be perceived as being intelligent and well-read. I don’t want […]

If not now, when?

by Koren Motekaitis

I no longer hate myself. I now believe in myself. One of my [______] clients told me this recently in a coaching call.   This was huge success for her. This is the dream right? To stop hating yourself. To believe in yourself. I can already hear you … you’re telling yourself a story like this, […]

Have you had that friend …

by Koren Motekaitis

You know that friend you’ve known for twenty years, the one you only see once every 1-3 years? You always think she’s going to tell you how fantastic her life is now, after all these years. But while time has passed by … she tells you the same sad story about her troubles.  Now the […]

Approval whoring vs people pleasing

by Koren Motekaitis

“Approval whoring” does not sound nice. Why not use “people pleasing” instead? People pleasing sounds nice. Women have been culturally programmed to be nice. Women have been culturally programmed to put other people’s needs before their own. Women have been culturally programmed that if we are nice and put people’s needs in front of our […]

Money is evil

by Koren Motekaitis

Growing up, we didn’t have money, so one of the solutions to my problem was to believe money is evil.  Villainize money to stop myself from wanting it. Funny thing is … that didn’t work. In fact, it only created more pain and suffering.  I felt SHAME from not having enough money to begin with. […]

You know what to do, you’re just not doing it …

by Koren Motekaitis

“What’s wrong with me?” “Why am I not doing what I should be doing?” Two reasons there’s a gap between what you know and what you do: The questions above lead to self-hatred … which is rooted in the feeling of SHAME. When rooted in SHAME, you either hide away or beat the crap out […]

Creating trust with new staff

by Koren Motekaitis

You’ve learned … vulnerability is the pathway to connection. In fact, you’ve heard me say that 1,000 times on my podcast. So you decided to put it into practice at your next team retreat to cultivate connection with new staff. You are one of the Senior Staffers at the retreat. One night you get other […]

I want to know you

by Koren Motekaitis

When I sit with you … I want to know:  What you really believe. Your opinion, even if I totally disagree. What’s rattling inside of your brain. But you are worried about being disliked. You are concerned you will say something stupid. You don’t want to make me mad. (REMINDER: I am responsible for my […]

Stop waiting for permission

by Koren Motekaitis

Isn’t it funny? You are a grown ass woman. You have major responsibilities. You are the one that gets things done for others. But you’re waiting for permission. From who? As the responsible, get-shit-done woman, it’s time to give yourself permission … and stop waiting for it to come from someone else. Stop giving your […]

Pick yourself

by Koren Motekaitis

I used to believe others were the chosen ones, that I was the loser.  If only I were good enough, they would choose me. This led me down the path of becoming an approval whore, waiting around for others to choose me. I know you are wondering how that worked out for me … It […]

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About Koren

Hello, I am Koren. I am a real person just like you.  I practice living my life in alignment with who I am, even if that means I am different. I show up and do the work too! I am okay and so are you. I am a mother, wife, family member, friend, entrepreneur and community builder ... learn more

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