My clients are smart, hard working overachievers.
They often identify themselves as high achievers.
Because they “know” that overachiever is not a “good” title to have.
They are soooooooooo hard on themselves.
On the outside they are perceived as having it made. They’re “Successful!”
They are perceived as being confident.
Oh my friend, on the inside it’s a totally different experience.
On the inside, there is a lot of self-loathing, self-hatred, self-blame + self-doubt.
They are highly critical of themselves.
Their internal dialogue would never be used on their own best friend.
And then I come along and they hire me.
While I don’t use the words “self-love” as that sounds to airy fairy for my clients.
Instead with my clients I do talk about becoming their own best friend.
Being hard on themselves has gotten them to this level of success and achievement thus far.
Why not keep going?
Because they are exhausted and often want to quit.
They want to run away.
They dread their days instead of loving the life they’ve created for themselves.
They have evidence that being hard on themselves = success.
They just don’t want to sustain it anymore.
Internally they feel hopeless.
The only option they can see is to flee … Quit. Give up.
That’s where I come in.
There’s actually a better way.
Some people call it self-love.
But with my clients that’s too airy fairy.
I talk about becoming your own best friend.
Talking to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend.
Support yourself during hard times the way you would support your best friend.
When your best friend makes mistakes … do you emotionally beat her up?
Or do you support her with love + honest feedback?
Self-loathing, self-hatred, self-blame + self-doubt only keep you in this awful place.
Being your own best friend, or self-love, is what you need to become confident.
Being your own best friend, or self-love, nourishes you so you have the energy to strive for excellence.
Being your own best friend, or self-love, allows you to learn, make mistakes and improve.
Being your own best friend is a much better option than beating yourself up.
Really it comes down to self-love instead of self-hate.
Fill yourself up with love.
This is your fuel for your life.
Self-love will allow you to strive for excellence and for it to be sustainable.
Quitting is not the only option.