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The night I made a decision to no longer be poor

One night I was staring up at the ceiling while lying in bed.

I was scared out of my mind.

I was unsure that life could be better.

I wanted certainty.

I wanted security.

I wanted to have enough money and then I would be safe.

I was 11 years old and heard my parents fight over money … well, the lack of it.

I made a decision … I would grow up and become a lawyer.

Laughable now, but that was the only option my 11 year-old brain could come up with.

The interesting thing, in my twenties I got exactly what I wanted, minus being a lawyer.

Certainty. Security. Money.

I landed a job teaching + coaching full-time at a local community college. 

Those in the know of higher ed, understand that these are plum jobs. Teaching, no research. Plenty of days off (we were contracted to work 164 days a year). Tenure (meant I never had to worry about getting another job or losing my job). Pension. Medical + dental benefits. And really good pay.

My 11 year-old self had gotten everything she’d wanted.

Well, almost … I never felt safe during my tenure.

Back then, I didn’t understand the power of one’s mindset and how it’s not the circumstances that create our feelings but the stories we tell ourselves that create our feelings.

While my adult circumstances were much different than my 11 year-old’s circumstances, my lack of feeling safe was still with me as an adult with a good paycheck.

I’ve learned to change that feeling and I’ll share with you how …

Today, as an entrepreneur who is self-employed, I don’t have a contract with generous days off and holiday pay, I don’t have guaranteed employment, salary, pension, or medical + dental benefits.

Today I feel SAFE.

Instead of being that scared little 11 year-old girl who was afraid and believed the only way out of fear was through a traditional, grueling job, I have become someone who believes in herself. 

I’ve persevered. 

I’ve become vulnerable, as I put myself out there on my podcast, in these emails to you, + with my clients.

I’ve taken a lot of action. 

And of course, along the way, I’ve fallen down a LOT!

Sure, I still get scared.

But today I’m truly safe without all those guarantees I believed would make me feel SAFE.

Today, I manage my mind by telling myself true stories about me + my abilities.

I believe in myself. 

I bet on myself. 

I know I’m capable of taking care of myself and my family. 

I fall down and I get back up. 

I’ve cultivated a growth mindset of one who is curious and willing to learn + make mistakes.

Today I’m resilient, strong, + capable.

Managing your mindset will free you. 

I’ve done it, now it’s your turn …

Change your mindset and transform your life.

smiling,

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About Koren

Hello, I am Koren. I am a real person just like you.  I practice living my life in alignment with who I am, even if that means I am different. I show up and do the work too! I am okay and so are you. I am a mother, wife, family member, friend, entrepreneur and community builder ... learn more

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