You don’t pursue what you really want because you’re afraid you’ll be disappointed.
Disappointed in the outcome … but more importantly disappointed in yourself. This creates a downward spiral inside of you.
You’ll create limiting stories about you + what’s possible for you:
- It’s not possible for me.
- See … people really don’t like me.
- This is a sign.
- I’m not good enough for this job.
- I’ll never make more money.
- The love of my life just isn’t out there.
In order to not feel disappointed, you stay small in your life.
- Pursue what you want.
- “Stick your neck out.”
- Ask for what you want.
You live a small life to avoid feeling disappointed.
But think about it … disappointment is a FEELING. It’s an emotion inside of you.
You are living small in your life, because you don’t want to feel a painful feeling.
The irony is by staying small in your life and not pursuing what you really, really, really want, you feel even more painful feelings like despair, lack of confidence and unworthiness.
Be willing to feel the feeling of disappointment. It’s only a feeling.
By feeling disappointment you can move through it and actually feel better. Yes, it’s true.
What we avoid persists. What we face we can overcome.
Feel the feeling. Notice where you feel it in your body without any judgement.
Unpack the story that’s creating the feeling of disappointment and create a better story.
Here are some stories that create the feeling of disappointment, along with new better stories.
I didn’t get what I wanted.
Yes you didn’t get what you wanted right now … but that doesn’t mean you won’t.
I recommend replacing that thought with “If not this, then something better.”
I have to keep working harder.
Not only do you feel disappointed but I bet this story is exhausting as well.
Instead, you don’t know if it really is a matter of working harder or maybe you just need to make a couple of tweaks. I recommend you get curious about what you can do differently. First start by asking yourself this question “what small changes can I make to produce the outcome I want?”
It’s impossible to have what I want.
While you may like to indulge in that story. It’s not ABSOLUTELY TRUE in all areas of your life. Write down 5 things that you currently have that you want. Remind yourself “I do have what I want and am creating more of what I want.”
It’s okay to feel disappointed. It’s a feeling. Our feelings come from our stories that we believe are true. But before you automatically step into the belief that dials up disappointment, check in with yourself to see if it’s ABSOLUTELY a true story for you.
P.S. I have one private coaching spot open. Apply here!