A listener once sent me an email asking me to stop using the word whore as it was derogatory.
The old me was an approval whore. The old me would have immediately agreed with her without even considering what I thought.
But the new me is a recovering approval whore, so I play by different rules.
If you’re an approval whore, you probably are familiar with doing things you don’t want to, so that other people will be pleased.
How do you stop? Here are the seven steps to Approval Whore Recovery:
- Recognize that you’re an approval whore.
- Stop judging yourself for being an approval whore. Judgment is more armor and doesn’t resolve things.
- Be compassionate with yourself. Compassion is the biggest motivator for change.
- Before you automatically agree with someone to gain their approval, STOP. Think about what you think.
- Give yourself permission to speak what is true for you and own it. When that reader asked me to stop using the word whore, I thought about it for a few months. About why I felt compelled to use the word whore. I knew that if I used people pleaser, it would be less impactful. I don’t want to be someone who sells herself out for the approval of others. Therefore approval whore as a term provides me with a jolt of who I don’t want to be.
- Be willing to feel the shame instead of trying to shield yourself from it. When you feel your shame, it will last around 90 seconds. When you approval whore yourself, your shame will last a lifetime.
- Own your story and love yourself instead of trying to get others to love you by selling yourself out. This is where we end up when we are on the other side of shame.
Thank you for your email, I wrote my reader. You are so important to me. And so is the term approval whore.
Smiling,
