I have a lot of clients who are looking for a second chapter in their love lives.
They were once married and raised kids. Now they find themselves single. While I don’t think of myself (nor do I advertise myself) as a relationship coach, I do coach a lot of people through these “next chapter” relationships.
A huge question in this next chapter for both the men and women I coach is “Do I matter?”
Often, they answer that they matter only if the other person likes them as much as they like the other person.
No matter what the other person in a relationship thinks of you, you do matter.
Liking someone, caring about someone without knowing how they feel about you is …
1) honoring your feelings
2) vulnerable and risky, because they may not feel the same
3) incredibly scary
But when you allow yourself to feel your feelings, you’re honoring your feelings and sending the message to yourself that “YES I do matter regardless of how the other person feels about me.”
Now, this is not a Cinderella story where you both live happily ever after (remember, I’m not the fairy godmother), and it may be that this person feels differently about you. But the beautiful thing is, you’re now set free to go and find your next person.
You’ve given yourself the gift of honoring the truth of what’s inside you, while reminding yourself “If not here, then there is someone for me elsewhere.”
Never rely on someone else’s opinion of you. You must believe that you matter, first. Then you can go out and find the right person to be in a relationship with, one who believes you matter, one who loves you.
And, if you need a little help getting there, just let me know.