Recently, I’ve been working on a puzzle that a friend gave me over the holidays. And let me tell you, this puzzle has taught me a lot. Puzzles are such a useful metaphor for life, and this one has shown me how attached I can get to outcomes.
On this episode, I’m talking about two types of focus – soft focus and hard focus – and what they look + feel like. This puzzle has shown me how much better soft focus feels than hard focus, which has helped me identify other areas in my life where I’m flipping back and forth between the two.
Soft focus feels like flow, play, and learning. Hard focus feels like forcing it, gritting your teeth, and telling yourself you HAVE to get this thing done – or you’re a failure.
Doesn’t sound fun, does it?
We do this all the time in our personal and professional lives. We’re humming along, getting things done and having a good time, and suddenly things aren’t clicking. Our brain immediately supplies some drama – “I’m behind on my deadlines because I’m lazy.” Or, “I’m a terrible partner because I’m always too tired to do things after work.” Insert your unique brain-drama here.
Catching ourselves in this mindset + gently guiding our thoughts back to soft focus can help us stop obsessing over every single outcome.
Listen in to this episode as I describe my own experience with soft and hard focus and how I’m learning to apply this lens across my life. It’s helped me examine the stories I’m telling about myself and question whether they’re really true.
I also talk about how focus relates to rest + recovery and why you should incorporate them into your work and personal life if you want to get more things done, with more ease.
I’m not always perfect, and I’m still learning these lessons every day myself. But I’m constantly trying to be a compassionate observer of my own thoughts – and that’s a huge step in itself.
Do you want to take what you’ve learned from this episode to the next level? Check out my ENOUGH coaching program. Together, we combine the concepts and lessons from this show with coaching to go way beyond intellectual learning. You’ll learn to silence critical internal voices that tell you you’re not enough, integrate self-love into your everyday life, and build resilience against shame and other difficult experiences. Enrollment opened January 7th, 2019 – join me and create your most badass self!
LISTEN HERE
WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER
- Why high-achievers will often flip from soft focus into hard focus once they experience some success
- Why working hard and focusing deeply absolutely must be followed up with rest + recovery
- How play can look if you’re using soft focus and not obsessing over productivity
- The role our ego plays in making us feel very attached to certain outcomes
- How soft focus can help us through courageous conversations, where hard focus might make them more difficult
- How your strengths can become your weakness when you’re using hard focus
RESOURCES FOR YOU
- Ready to join the ENOUGH program. Join the waitlist to the ENOUGH program.
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- Say YES to courageous conversations [MINISODE]