I’m rather fortunate. I’m a female born in the United States of America. While my family was poor, I was always safe and out of harm’s way from the dangers of the world.
Today, as a middle-aged woman, I live in an affluent, educated, + relatively safe community.
I realize I’m lucky compared to so many women in the world.
Except, even now, I can live in a very dangerous place …
My own mind.
This is the most dangerous place I have lived.
Untrained, my brain was a scary place to be.
My mind was dark.
It was comfortable living in the swampland of shame … it was so familiar.
My untrained brain said, “this is all there ever was.”
Over time, I learned how to manage my mindset.
I learned the significance of the words I choose.
I learned I am not my thoughts.
I learned I don’t have to believe my thoughts, as they aren’t always true.
Even with this trained mindset, my own mind can quickly become a very dangerous place once again.
It can still be good at dress rehearsing tragedy.
My brain is still fantastic at catastrophizing.
And I can return to the dark swampland of SHAME.
When I’m in this place, the horrors I put myself through are incredible.
The self-hatred that can grow here is painful.
The anxiety I feel can be so overwhelming.
This is why my own mind can be a very dangerous place to live, at times it will turn on me … my own brain!
Here’s the thing, I can manage my brain instead of letting it run wild inside of me.
Now I have the skills to re-route my brain and create a safe place to live, instead of a dangerous place to live.
It’s a matter of reminding myself:
- I am not my thoughts.
- My thoughts are not necessarily true.
- I am capable of figuring things out.
- I am worthy of love + belonging, regardless of my circumstances.
- I live an amazing life and there are messy parts as well.
- I’m living my dream, and some days I’m living other people’s dream.
- The worst thing that can happen is feeling shame or anxiety.
- I can sit with the uncomfortable feelings and decipher the messages they are giving me.
- I can feel feelings and move through them.
- A feeling only lasts 90 seconds. It’s the stories I fondle that perpetuate them.
It’s time for you to stop living in your most dangerous place – your own mind.
What are the new stories you need to tell yourself?
Drawing a blank? No worries, steal a couple of mine above to get started and then tweak from there.
And if you need a little (or a lot) more help in composing a few new stories for yourself, I’d like to invite you to take a look at this: