I’m not appreciated.
I often hear this from clients when they are verbal vomiting the painful stories in their head about an area they are struggling with.
A magic trick I have to stop the vomit is to ask “how does it serve you to believe you are not appreciated.”
The immediate answer, It doesn’t serve me.
Here’s the thing, it absolutely does serve my client and we know this … because they continue to fixate on that story. They tell it over + over + over again.
When you believe you aren’t appreciated, how do you feel?
Those are a few feelings that come to mind.
When you feel one of those feelings, how do they make you show up in your life?
- SAD → hide away, have a pity party alone.
- FRUSTRATED → look for all the evidence of how this person and others don’t appreciate you.
- DEJECTED → hopeless, you want to give up on creating what you want.
- UNWORTHY → you start to behave the way you think others want you to, and this goes against who you are and what you value.
None of these feelings and your way of showing up in your life are what you want.
It’s very self-defeating.
It’s very costly.
It allows you to stay stuck and devalue yourself … because what if they are right and you are not worth appreciating?
This is not the way out of this pain and the belief of not being appreciated.
It only creates more pain.
Instead the way out of this painful story is to question it.
Do you know for a fact they don’t appreciate you?
If you don’t know for a fact, then let that story go immediately.
Because you’re only creating fiction that is causing you pain.
The next question I have for you is, do you appreciate you?
That is the fundamental question. Yes it’s really up to you to appreciate you.
If you don’t appreciate yourself, start right now. Think about 3 things you appreciate about YOU. Even better write them down.
This will grow your appreciation muscle allowing you to have the strength + perseverance when you do come up against people who don’t appreciate you.
You’ll remind yourself that you appreciate you and that’s enough.