As a young female leader, I made a decision about how I would lead.
I could be “nice.”
If I did that, I would be walked all over, while also being responsible for bringing cupcakes for my employee’s birthdays.
Or, I could be a “bitch.”
Then I would not have to be responsible for bringing cupcakes or birthday acknowledgments, while also hindering the possibility of being walked over by my staff.
I chose “bitch.”
Thank goodness. No cupcake making here!
The consequence was less connection and more fear from those around me.
The consequence was lots of my personal energy to put up this armor of “bitch.”
But I didn’t know a better way as a young female leader + I didn’t want to be perceived as soft or nice.
My answer was the all too familiar “all or nothing” and “black and white” mindset.
I was missing the space in between “nice” and “bitch.”
The “space in between” is the space of compassion.
There are many shades of compassion.
I can be compassionate and loving.
I can be compassionate and soothing.
I can be compassionate and understanding.
I can be compassionate and say “no.”
I can be compassionate and be fierce.
And the best news…I can be compassionate and still not make cupcakes for my staff’s birthday!
As an older female leader…I now choose to be compassionate.
From this place of compassion I’m much more confident, strong and powerful.
Not powerful from a “I have power over you” place…but “I can do hard things, I can work through the messes leaders must face.” Power from a place of inner strength even though I might want to hide…I’m willing to show up and be brave.
There are many shades of compassion.
You can choose where on the continuum you will lead from…it does not need to be one or the other.
smiling,
P.S. Does this sound like something YOU need to practice? Finding that place of compassion? This — among many other things — is something I talk about quite often on my podcast. Click here to subscribe on your podcast player of choice.