A true question is one where the other person can say YES or NO.
Will you do me a favor?
Can you close the windows?
Will you stop at the store on the way home?
Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? We believe we are asking a question because we put a question mark at the end of the sentence. In reality, we’re just making a demand and dressing it up as a question.
If the person doesn’t say yes to our question, we get upset:
They don’t respect me.
Can’t they see I am busy too?
I have to do it all myself.
They said they would do it, I guess I can’t count on anyone.
When my clients tell me about these situations in their lives, I ask them if it was a true question, where the other person has the ability to say yes or no. Or was it a demand dressed up as a question? I ask them to think about the other person, and how it feels to be asked a question that they aren’t allowed to say no to.
A true question is one where the other person can say YES or NO.
Give the people in your life the space to say yes or no. And if you’re truly making a demand, don’t dress it up with a question mark. In some of our relationships, there is a time and place to make a demand. Just be forthcoming about it, instead of pretending it’s a question.
smiling,
