It has been a while since I posted.  Summer has been full and busy.  Now school has started for the kids, fall is on it’s way and life has quieted down a bit.  I hope your summer was fabulous.  Mine was amazing, full and busier then ever.  I will be posting some of the things I learned this summer in future posts.  Today I want to talk about Finding Your Own North Star.

Many of you know that I have added another title to what I do – Life Coach.  I have loved doing this radio show for the past three years and the fabulous opportunities it has created for me.  I feel so fortunate to have such amazing guests from all walks of life and all degrees of success.  The frustrating part of my show has been while the information has been wonderful and is ONE part of making changes in our lives, many people are still stuck and do not know how to actually put the information into practice in one’s own life.  The other part of creating change is the ACTION piece.  We may all intellectually understand what we need to do, but to create the space, time, and commitment is another thing.  So last year I decided to train with Dr. Martha Beck.  She has been a guest on my show a couple of times and will return in November.  I just love Martha.  I have been inspired by her work, her personal journey and life coaching approach.  Many of you may have seen her on Oprah, read her monthly column in O Magazine, or quite possibly read one of her amazing books that have changed your life.  A few of her books are Expecting Adam, Finding Your Own North Star and Steerling by Starlight.

Many of you know I have spent over 16 years guiding people to success in their lives as a swim coach.  I had wanted to give back to my sport that had helped me learn so much about life throughout my 15 year swim career as an athlete.  So I began by coaching youth and helped them see the possibilities that could exist in their swim careers. This lead to my college swim coaching career.  I worked with athletes from humble backgrounds and helped them move forward in their lives and achieve success that at times they never before had dreamed possible for themselves.

Helping others see what is truly possible for them; creating the space for others to show up day in and day out to achieve their visions is what I DO.  And this past year I have been able to work with Life Coaching clients to help them gain clarity in their own lives.  It is truly an amazing addition to my life.

This fall I will be teaching Martha’s Finding Your Own North Star class.  We will bring the book alive to help you learn her tools to practice and implement them into your life so that you can become the expert on your life.  Life coaching is not about me telling you what to do, it is about me helping you get connected with your self and practicing these skills until you can do it on your own.  During this class we will go through her book and practice and discuss the tools that Martha has created so that you can learn to find the answers to your life within you. ]]> http://howshereallydoesit.com/blog/2009/08/finding-your-own-north-star/feed/ 0 http://howshereallydoesit.com/blog/2009/06/919/ http://howshereallydoesit.com/blog/2009/06/919/#comments Thu, 04 Jun 2009 18:25:00 +0000 Koren http://howshereallydoesit.com/?p=919 Last week I was coaching a client and we were discussing her business.  She was feeling a tremendous amount of financial stress.  So off we went to work on her thoughts about what was going on.  We got to a better thought of “There are opportunities for my business.”  At first she was a bit hesitant, because how could thinking that thought really create more opportunities.  Then we discussed what she was feeling when she thought “there are opportunities for my business” versus “where are my customers?”  With her new thought, she felt less panicked and tight then at the beginning of our call.  The tears had stopped flowing, and she began to relax.  So it was not a turn around (direct 180) from her original thought of  ”where are my customers?”  She did question the passivity about the new thought.  But what happened is that instead of focusing on the lack she began to look and work on her business.  Two days later, a deal with a few zeros at the end of it was signed.  A small step forward on her thoughts regarding money and her business.

Around the same time, my seven year old daughter  had just gone to the Girl Scout “Sock Hop Father-Daughter Dance.”  For the first time in her life she found out what a poodle skirt was and wore one to the dance.  A few days later she was home sick and watched A Cinderella Story, a movie she has seen many times.  She was soooo excited and came bounding into my office to tell me:  ”Mommy, mommy they are wearing poodle skirts in the movie!”   Then off to the computer to one of her favorite websites and soon enough, “mommy, mommy there are poodle skirts on the website.  How come everywhere I look there are now poodle skirts?” 

Lesson learned

That reinforced to me that when are eyes are open we finally see the possibilities that have been in our lives.  Opportunities are in front of us everyday.  When we can only focus on the negative thoughts or our fears we may miss the opportunities that are right there in front of us.

Professor Dweck, author of Mindset discusses growth mindset vs. fixed mindset.  After the interview I asked her “What is the relationship between possessing a growth mindset and success as an entrepreneur?”

Her response was:

“…in my book I have a chapter on business and leadership in which I analyze the characteristics of successful leaders: the desire to take on challenges (as opposed to the desire to feed one’s ego), the desire for honest feedback (as opposed to flattering feedback), the ability to face problems and setbacks and remain effective (as opposed to denying problems or blaming them on others), the desire to have great people on your team (as opposed to being threatened by others’ talents). These qualities are especially important in times like these, and each is a characteristic of the growth mindset. Recent research has examined this directly, examining business people who had breakout results with a new idea or product. The major thing they shared was a growth mindset.”

 

Michael Port wants to start a Think Big Revolution.  Why think small thoughts when we can choose to think Big Thoughts?  In his latest book The Think Big Manifesto, Michael states

“Thinking small is often about who we think we should be.  It’s about a concept of a better self.  But you are not a concept.  I am not a concept.  We are who we are and who we think we are.  It’s not easy to overthrow the judges and think big, but it’s not complicated.”

Do you Think Big?  When do you let small thoughts get in the way?  When are you a fixed mindset and when are you a growth mindset?  What are the results when you are in a growth mindset?